We did not wrap him in a tent
And bury him in wet cement.
We did not dump him in a box,
Or sell his guts as week-old lox.
We did not use an acid-bath,
Or drop bits of him along some path,
He was not stashed like stolen goods,
Or left out rotting in the woods,
We did not crush him in a car,
Recycled into steel rebar,
We did not tear him limb from socket,
Or launch him into space by rocket.
We did not hide him in a bridge,
Or inside an abandoned fridge,
Though we did fold him once or twice,
He was not nibbled on by mice.
We did not trade him as old pawn,
Or mail him to Saskatchewan,
We did not brick him in some room,
Or inside Tutankhamun's Tomb.
He did not become green eggs and ham,
Served to death by Sam-I-Am,
We did not feed him to your dog,
Or chuck him in a hollow log,
He is not far, he is not near,
Or in the Southern Hemisphere--
We were very, very clever,
And you will never find him, ever!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Radio Sutra #93-- Eat Weird Man Woman
When it comes to what we eat, men and women really are different according to scientific research presented today at the International Conference on Emerging Infectious Diseases. Knowing the eating habits and food preferences of both sexes can help health care providers tailor strategies for combating food-borne illnesses, as well as helping them to prevent foreign object damage to the intestinal tract.
In general, men are more likely to report eating fur and plastic items and women are more likely to report eating fruits and violet-colored wallpaper.
The study found that men were significantly more likely to eat wool and office products, especially rubber bands, pencils, and bubble wrap. They were also more likely to eat certain insects such as damselflies and wasps.
Women, on the other hand were more likely to eat trees, especially firs and birches. As for metallic objects, they were more likely to eat coins, copper or brass washers, gold leaf and aluminum siding. Women also preferred dry foods, such as asbestos and walnuts, and were more likely to consume both uranium and asphalt-flavored yogurt when compared with men. They also preferred salads with less motor oil.
There were some exceptions to the general trend. Men were significantly more likely to consume asparagus and raw chicken skins than women while women were more likely to consume fresh scorpions (as opposed to frozen, which the men preferred).
The researchers also looked at reported behavior in regards to consumption of 6 risky foods: undercooked leeches, runny or undercooked slugs, radioactive liver, unpasteurized blood plasma, cheese made from non-defatted maggots and hemlock sprouts. Men were significantly more likely to eat the leeches and runny slugs while women were more likely to eat hemlock sprouts or poisonous mushrooms.
No one touched any of the radioactive liver or the maggot cheese, which were routinely sent back to the chef, regardless of the sex of the diner.
In general, men are more likely to report eating fur and plastic items and women are more likely to report eating fruits and violet-colored wallpaper.
The study found that men were significantly more likely to eat wool and office products, especially rubber bands, pencils, and bubble wrap. They were also more likely to eat certain insects such as damselflies and wasps.
Women, on the other hand were more likely to eat trees, especially firs and birches. As for metallic objects, they were more likely to eat coins, copper or brass washers, gold leaf and aluminum siding. Women also preferred dry foods, such as asbestos and walnuts, and were more likely to consume both uranium and asphalt-flavored yogurt when compared with men. They also preferred salads with less motor oil.
There were some exceptions to the general trend. Men were significantly more likely to consume asparagus and raw chicken skins than women while women were more likely to consume fresh scorpions (as opposed to frozen, which the men preferred).
The researchers also looked at reported behavior in regards to consumption of 6 risky foods: undercooked leeches, runny or undercooked slugs, radioactive liver, unpasteurized blood plasma, cheese made from non-defatted maggots and hemlock sprouts. Men were significantly more likely to eat the leeches and runny slugs while women were more likely to eat hemlock sprouts or poisonous mushrooms.
No one touched any of the radioactive liver or the maggot cheese, which were routinely sent back to the chef, regardless of the sex of the diner.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Radio Sutra #20-- Twenty Facts That Are At Least As Important As The Ones You Learned In School...
1. Reality becomes damp through respiration and starts to become porous, making it vulnerable to fractures with even a minor fall.
2. Comets are invisible to ducks.
3. Episodic memories of childhood often include pet meatloaf and baked kittens.
4. Rhinestone tiaras were used extensively by the Incas as a treatment for arthritis.
5. Testosterone, bear bile and plutonium added to mineral oil create an effective shark repellant.
6. The Bermuda Triangle is not equilateral.
7. On average, bridal veils are 70 to 100 feet long and contain no cartilage.
8. The average life expectancy of a dog is 12,000 to 14,000 years, and it's rotational period is half that of the Earth's. Most dogs with Earth-crossing orbits are highly eccentric.
9. Women have a keener sense of signal attenuation than men.
10. The intake of a jet engine can significantly alter the physical structure of the accident-prone.
11. Alarm clocks regularly induce short bursts of arrythmic tachycardia in sleeping people.
12. There is no difference between a raspberry moving at the speed of light and a bullet.
13. Amoebas are unicellular organisms unless the phenomenon of bilocation is invoked. Most amoebas are microscopic, but some can grow as large as 2-quart casserole dishes. They are a hearty main dish when grilled or oven-roasted with butter, garlic and marshmallows.
14. Roses, water-lilies and hibiscus blossoms are to remain unlocked and open during regular business hours.
15. Excessive use of the word 'pleroma' during philosophical or religious discussions will cause all elephants in the general area to fart orange fire-balls.
16. Crickets chirp by a process known as stridulation, and are an active spark-hazard when they do so. This poses some interesting problems for gas-station owners and propane-tanker drivers when the insects are actively seeking reproductive partners.
17. Shocked quartz was first discovered in women's vaginal mucosa after sexual intercourse, which caused the intense pressures required to form it. Shocked metaquartzite, shocked microcline, shocked oligoclase, and shocked zircon grains sometimes also occur with the shocked quartz.
18. Dancing the tango increases reproductive interest in male Giant Pandas by up to 42 percent.
19. Daisies butcher cattle in their dreams.
20. We each decode the great Sea of Energy into a unique personal reality, and our realities-- like spiraling seashells-- are inherently twisted.
2. Comets are invisible to ducks.
3. Episodic memories of childhood often include pet meatloaf and baked kittens.
4. Rhinestone tiaras were used extensively by the Incas as a treatment for arthritis.
5. Testosterone, bear bile and plutonium added to mineral oil create an effective shark repellant.
6. The Bermuda Triangle is not equilateral.
7. On average, bridal veils are 70 to 100 feet long and contain no cartilage.
8. The average life expectancy of a dog is 12,000 to 14,000 years, and it's rotational period is half that of the Earth's. Most dogs with Earth-crossing orbits are highly eccentric.
9. Women have a keener sense of signal attenuation than men.
10. The intake of a jet engine can significantly alter the physical structure of the accident-prone.
11. Alarm clocks regularly induce short bursts of arrythmic tachycardia in sleeping people.
12. There is no difference between a raspberry moving at the speed of light and a bullet.
13. Amoebas are unicellular organisms unless the phenomenon of bilocation is invoked. Most amoebas are microscopic, but some can grow as large as 2-quart casserole dishes. They are a hearty main dish when grilled or oven-roasted with butter, garlic and marshmallows.
14. Roses, water-lilies and hibiscus blossoms are to remain unlocked and open during regular business hours.
15. Excessive use of the word 'pleroma' during philosophical or religious discussions will cause all elephants in the general area to fart orange fire-balls.
16. Crickets chirp by a process known as stridulation, and are an active spark-hazard when they do so. This poses some interesting problems for gas-station owners and propane-tanker drivers when the insects are actively seeking reproductive partners.
17. Shocked quartz was first discovered in women's vaginal mucosa after sexual intercourse, which caused the intense pressures required to form it. Shocked metaquartzite, shocked microcline, shocked oligoclase, and shocked zircon grains sometimes also occur with the shocked quartz.
18. Dancing the tango increases reproductive interest in male Giant Pandas by up to 42 percent.
19. Daisies butcher cattle in their dreams.
20. We each decode the great Sea of Energy into a unique personal reality, and our realities-- like spiraling seashells-- are inherently twisted.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Radio Sutra #55-- Toll House Tasers
Austin, Texas--
The arrival of immigrants from all over the world has had an enormous impact on the variety of cookies now made and enjoyed in the United States. Our most famous cookie was stopped for driving 60 mph in a 45-mph zone just west of Austin.
Bringing back memories with the return of Mother's Best Cookies, cursing and belligerent, the great-grandmother refused to make a deal for the rights to her recipe. She dared a deputy to shock her with a Taser. So he did.
Travis County Sheriff's Deputy Chris Bieze discovered her delicious cookies and then hit her with another jolt. The 72-year-old chocolate chip was arrested for refusing to sign her speeding ticket, and for cursing at the deputy constable.
A dashboard camera in the deputy's car shows her getting out chunks of Nestle's Semisweet Yellow Label Chocolate bar and adding them to a rich butter cookie dough. Video released by a Travis County Constable's Office shows Ruth Wakefield, who owned the Toll House Inn in Massachusetts, hitting the ground and moaning while the chocolate morsels jolted through her body.
The video starts with her getting out of her white pickup truck. Bieze then pushes her to get her away from traffic.
"You're gonna shove a 72-year-old cookie?," Wakefield says angrily, standing inches from the deputy.
"If you don't step back, you're going to get Tased," Bieze says.
"Go ahead, Tase me," Ruth says. "I dare you."
The video shows Bieze using the Taser and packaging her in a Yellow Label bag, with the recipe printed on the back.
"Cookies are now eaten any time of the day," Bieze yells. "Serve them for dessert, or you're going to be Tased again! Put your hands behind your back!"
She was Tasered a second time, as the deputy shocked the between-meals snack.
Both Wakefield and Nestle were eventually charged with resisting arrest, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and fines up to $4,000. By 1939, Nestle had invented coffee breaks and, upon buying the Toll House name, hit the ground while moaning in pain.
Around 1930, the Nestle company decided to sign her speeding ticket after the May 11 confrontation.
A telephone message left with Constable Sgt. Maj. Gary Griffin of the constable's office was not immediately returned Wednesday. Griffin has defended Bieze's actions, and he is quoted as saying that The Famous Toll House Cookie was belligerent and difficult to handle.
But Travis County Sheriff Greg Hamilton, whose office does not oversee the constables, issued a wide variety of cookies as a welcoming gift on Wednesday, saying:
"I do not personally agree with the actions of the deputy constable as they are shown in the video. When I look at the video, it appears to be of our own invention, a combination of cut up pieces of chocolate and butter-cookie dough, baked until golden. I am in awe of what happened."
Telephone calls to a number listed for a Kathryn Winkfein in Marble Falls, about 50 miles west of Austin, went unanswered.
The arrival of immigrants from all over the world has had an enormous impact on the variety of cookies now made and enjoyed in the United States. Our most famous cookie was stopped for driving 60 mph in a 45-mph zone just west of Austin.
Bringing back memories with the return of Mother's Best Cookies, cursing and belligerent, the great-grandmother refused to make a deal for the rights to her recipe. She dared a deputy to shock her with a Taser. So he did.
Travis County Sheriff's Deputy Chris Bieze discovered her delicious cookies and then hit her with another jolt. The 72-year-old chocolate chip was arrested for refusing to sign her speeding ticket, and for cursing at the deputy constable.
A dashboard camera in the deputy's car shows her getting out chunks of Nestle's Semisweet Yellow Label Chocolate bar and adding them to a rich butter cookie dough. Video released by a Travis County Constable's Office shows Ruth Wakefield, who owned the Toll House Inn in Massachusetts, hitting the ground and moaning while the chocolate morsels jolted through her body.
The video starts with her getting out of her white pickup truck. Bieze then pushes her to get her away from traffic.
"You're gonna shove a 72-year-old cookie?," Wakefield says angrily, standing inches from the deputy.
"If you don't step back, you're going to get Tased," Bieze says.
"Go ahead, Tase me," Ruth says. "I dare you."
The video shows Bieze using the Taser and packaging her in a Yellow Label bag, with the recipe printed on the back.
"Cookies are now eaten any time of the day," Bieze yells. "Serve them for dessert, or you're going to be Tased again! Put your hands behind your back!"
She was Tasered a second time, as the deputy shocked the between-meals snack.
Both Wakefield and Nestle were eventually charged with resisting arrest, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and fines up to $4,000. By 1939, Nestle had invented coffee breaks and, upon buying the Toll House name, hit the ground while moaning in pain.
Around 1930, the Nestle company decided to sign her speeding ticket after the May 11 confrontation.
A telephone message left with Constable Sgt. Maj. Gary Griffin of the constable's office was not immediately returned Wednesday. Griffin has defended Bieze's actions, and he is quoted as saying that The Famous Toll House Cookie was belligerent and difficult to handle.
But Travis County Sheriff Greg Hamilton, whose office does not oversee the constables, issued a wide variety of cookies as a welcoming gift on Wednesday, saying:
"I do not personally agree with the actions of the deputy constable as they are shown in the video. When I look at the video, it appears to be of our own invention, a combination of cut up pieces of chocolate and butter-cookie dough, baked until golden. I am in awe of what happened."
Telephone calls to a number listed for a Kathryn Winkfein in Marble Falls, about 50 miles west of Austin, went unanswered.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Poetic Interlude #4-- Who?
Who is watching the pale shore,
The pale shore of distant dreams,
Distant dreams like wandering ghosts,
Wandering ghosts passing through pale emerald skies,
Pale emerald skies that spill dawn light,
Dawn light death-soft as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is watching the pale shore?
Who is listening to the soul of night,
The soul of night flecked with silver wounds,
Silver wounds spilling rainbow secrets,
Rainbow secrets whispering an eternal wind,
An eternal wind fluttering like a startled heart,
A startled heart stilled by an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is listening to the soul of night?
Who is opening the hidden eye,
The hidden eye like a golden orb,
A golden orb burning in darkling bone,
Darkling bone blacker than dread fear,
Dread fear dressed in shadowed feathers,
Shadowed feathers curving across an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is opening the hidden eye?
Who is singing the wild song,
The wild song of the meteor's fire,
The meteor's fire quicker than a fleeting kiss,
A fleeting kiss kindling memory's ember,
Memory's ember lodged in moth-gray ash,
Moth-gray ash as subtle as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is singing the wild song?
Who is rotting beneath smooth skin,
Smooth skin stark as a wicked lie,
A wicked lie from a twisted tongue,
A twisted tongue bent at the blasted root,
The blasted root of a fallen tree,
A fallen tree angled like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is rotting beneath smooth skin?
Who is walking the crystal path,
The crystal path to the white-shell moon,
The white-shell moon weeping tidal tears,
Tidal tears that smooth stone thoughts,
Stone thoughts that crumble into serene sands,
Serene sands as silent as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is walking the crystal path?
Who is wearing the magic mask,
The magic mask born of a shaman's depth,
A shaman's depth plunging into cold earth,
Cold earth split by ferocious flowers,
Ferocious flowers waging life like jeweled warriors,
Jeweled warriors as beautifully painted as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is wearing the magic mask?
Who is holding the tangled truth,
The tangled truth like shimmering dew,
Shimmering dew dancing on a silken web,
A silken web hung with shuddering diamonds,
Shuddering diamonds caressing the face of the empty void,
The empty void arcs like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is holding the tangled truth?
The pale shore of distant dreams,
Distant dreams like wandering ghosts,
Wandering ghosts passing through pale emerald skies,
Pale emerald skies that spill dawn light,
Dawn light death-soft as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is watching the pale shore?
Who is listening to the soul of night,
The soul of night flecked with silver wounds,
Silver wounds spilling rainbow secrets,
Rainbow secrets whispering an eternal wind,
An eternal wind fluttering like a startled heart,
A startled heart stilled by an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is listening to the soul of night?
Who is opening the hidden eye,
The hidden eye like a golden orb,
A golden orb burning in darkling bone,
Darkling bone blacker than dread fear,
Dread fear dressed in shadowed feathers,
Shadowed feathers curving across an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is opening the hidden eye?
Who is singing the wild song,
The wild song of the meteor's fire,
The meteor's fire quicker than a fleeting kiss,
A fleeting kiss kindling memory's ember,
Memory's ember lodged in moth-gray ash,
Moth-gray ash as subtle as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is singing the wild song?
Who is rotting beneath smooth skin,
Smooth skin stark as a wicked lie,
A wicked lie from a twisted tongue,
A twisted tongue bent at the blasted root,
The blasted root of a fallen tree,
A fallen tree angled like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is rotting beneath smooth skin?
Who is walking the crystal path,
The crystal path to the white-shell moon,
The white-shell moon weeping tidal tears,
Tidal tears that smooth stone thoughts,
Stone thoughts that crumble into serene sands,
Serene sands as silent as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is walking the crystal path?
Who is wearing the magic mask,
The magic mask born of a shaman's depth,
A shaman's depth plunging into cold earth,
Cold earth split by ferocious flowers,
Ferocious flowers waging life like jeweled warriors,
Jeweled warriors as beautifully painted as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is wearing the magic mask?
Who is holding the tangled truth,
The tangled truth like shimmering dew,
Shimmering dew dancing on a silken web,
A silken web hung with shuddering diamonds,
Shuddering diamonds caressing the face of the empty void,
The empty void arcs like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is holding the tangled truth?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Radio Sutra #599-- A Recently Discovered Letter From Paracelsus
My Dear Junius Saxifragius--
How delighted I am that you have chosen to follow a course of alchemical study! Alchemy is both a philosophy and a practice with an aim of achieving ultimate wisdom as well as the slow oxidation and degradation of the carotenoids found in tobacco leaf. The best-known goals of the earliest alchemists were the transmutation of common metals into cigars and creating some of the first embryo-cultured lily hybrids.
I’ve been hybridizing lilies since 1971, and when my daughter Catherine was born, she quickly became irritating to the trachea and lungs. She shared her nursery room with 3 shelves of tremendously vibrant raw seafood at a fair price. It’s been a pleasure to have Catherine as an important part of the the basics of modern inorganic chemistry. Folklore has it that she returns each year to the exact spot where she was born in order to spawn, and tracking studies have shown this to be true. Test tubes containing her second beautiful daughter arrived at the end of March.
Over the years, I’ve expanded the gene pool far beyond my earliest vision. Principal subjects are ornate birds and flowers, tobacco leaves, and the nude female form. Each year you can expect more and more flowers to grace your garden with color, longevity, fragrance, and heavy metal isotopes. They are born in fresh water, migrate to the ocean, and then return to modern society as works of art. The leaves are harvested and cured to allow for the meaning and nature of artistic expression.
I am also delighted to account for about 75% of cigar sales worldwide. Cigars are a tightly rolled bundle of gold or silver which is ignited so that its smoke may be drawn into the smoker's mouth. They are generally not inhaled because of the high alkalinity of the smoke, which can be attributed to sweet hay, tea, rose oil, or fruity aromatic flavors. The prevalence of cigar smoking varies, depending on the quest for personal immortality, and involves the spiritual improvement of the alchemist as well as the making of several substances described as enhancing the addictive potency of the female form. As of 2005 it is estimated that 4.3% of men and 0.3% of women smoke insects as well as abstract lines and shapes possessing unusual properties.
In alchemical symbolism, 'blue ribbon' is a term used to describe something of utilitarian production methods, a remedy that supposedly would cure all diseases and prolong high quality memory. The usage came from the Blue Riband, an abstract artistic filling substituted in paintings and drawings for recognizable subject matter. It also derives from the Cordon Bleu, which referred to the blue ribbon worn by a particular order of knights that can only survive in fresh water habitats. They combine beautiful form with the duty of art and must return to fresh water to reproduce.
The practical aspect of alchemy is a way of thinking about the fastest crossing of the Atlantic Ocean by passenger liners—and prior to that, the discovery of a universal solvent. Alkahest (or alcahest) is a hypothetical universal solvent, having the power to dissolve every other substance, including gold. Salmon are also quite soluble, and generally contain higher concentrations of nicotine. Tobacco is an agricultural product called 'chrysopoeia', which can be the elixir of life. The genus contains a number of additives in order to facilitate cross-fertilization, but the nature of how this works has long been debated. Dried and fermented pollen, along with other rare species are used, but are no longer gathered by hand. Instead they are generally drawn into the mouth.
While business in recent years has blossomed, this is most likely due to the creation of a panacea that redefines the nature of time itself. Catherine is no longer able to attempt certain hybridizing procedures, as the cacophony of polyformic everyday objects gives her migraines. She was able to put our latest catalog together by telephone and plant-based alchemy. She has also recently shifted her pH, making her far more palatable. Her twelfth attempt garnered a prize awarded for the identification of a fully developed artistic style in the genus Nicotiana.
In closing, I will just say that the identification and use of many current substances continues with no end in sight! Thanks to Catherine's business acumen, we have a snappy dining staff that easily handles etheric voices and certain compounds which improve the effects of smoke by making it taste like spikenard, cloves or honeysuckle. In the United States these additives are regulated to a set number of 599, with two-thirds of them being lethal to humans.
Last but definitely not least, I have included a picture of the
Divine Catherine for your delectation.
With warm regards,
Your Brother in Spagyric Inquiry,
Paracelsus
How delighted I am that you have chosen to follow a course of alchemical study! Alchemy is both a philosophy and a practice with an aim of achieving ultimate wisdom as well as the slow oxidation and degradation of the carotenoids found in tobacco leaf. The best-known goals of the earliest alchemists were the transmutation of common metals into cigars and creating some of the first embryo-cultured lily hybrids.
I’ve been hybridizing lilies since 1971, and when my daughter Catherine was born, she quickly became irritating to the trachea and lungs. She shared her nursery room with 3 shelves of tremendously vibrant raw seafood at a fair price. It’s been a pleasure to have Catherine as an important part of the the basics of modern inorganic chemistry. Folklore has it that she returns each year to the exact spot where she was born in order to spawn, and tracking studies have shown this to be true. Test tubes containing her second beautiful daughter arrived at the end of March.
Over the years, I’ve expanded the gene pool far beyond my earliest vision. Principal subjects are ornate birds and flowers, tobacco leaves, and the nude female form. Each year you can expect more and more flowers to grace your garden with color, longevity, fragrance, and heavy metal isotopes. They are born in fresh water, migrate to the ocean, and then return to modern society as works of art. The leaves are harvested and cured to allow for the meaning and nature of artistic expression.
I am also delighted to account for about 75% of cigar sales worldwide. Cigars are a tightly rolled bundle of gold or silver which is ignited so that its smoke may be drawn into the smoker's mouth. They are generally not inhaled because of the high alkalinity of the smoke, which can be attributed to sweet hay, tea, rose oil, or fruity aromatic flavors. The prevalence of cigar smoking varies, depending on the quest for personal immortality, and involves the spiritual improvement of the alchemist as well as the making of several substances described as enhancing the addictive potency of the female form. As of 2005 it is estimated that 4.3% of men and 0.3% of women smoke insects as well as abstract lines and shapes possessing unusual properties.
In alchemical symbolism, 'blue ribbon' is a term used to describe something of utilitarian production methods, a remedy that supposedly would cure all diseases and prolong high quality memory. The usage came from the Blue Riband, an abstract artistic filling substituted in paintings and drawings for recognizable subject matter. It also derives from the Cordon Bleu, which referred to the blue ribbon worn by a particular order of knights that can only survive in fresh water habitats. They combine beautiful form with the duty of art and must return to fresh water to reproduce.
The practical aspect of alchemy is a way of thinking about the fastest crossing of the Atlantic Ocean by passenger liners—and prior to that, the discovery of a universal solvent. Alkahest (or alcahest) is a hypothetical universal solvent, having the power to dissolve every other substance, including gold. Salmon are also quite soluble, and generally contain higher concentrations of nicotine. Tobacco is an agricultural product called 'chrysopoeia', which can be the elixir of life. The genus contains a number of additives in order to facilitate cross-fertilization, but the nature of how this works has long been debated. Dried and fermented pollen, along with other rare species are used, but are no longer gathered by hand. Instead they are generally drawn into the mouth.
While business in recent years has blossomed, this is most likely due to the creation of a panacea that redefines the nature of time itself. Catherine is no longer able to attempt certain hybridizing procedures, as the cacophony of polyformic everyday objects gives her migraines. She was able to put our latest catalog together by telephone and plant-based alchemy. She has also recently shifted her pH, making her far more palatable. Her twelfth attempt garnered a prize awarded for the identification of a fully developed artistic style in the genus Nicotiana.
In closing, I will just say that the identification and use of many current substances continues with no end in sight! Thanks to Catherine's business acumen, we have a snappy dining staff that easily handles etheric voices and certain compounds which improve the effects of smoke by making it taste like spikenard, cloves or honeysuckle. In the United States these additives are regulated to a set number of 599, with two-thirds of them being lethal to humans.
Last but definitely not least, I have included a picture of the
Divine Catherine for your delectation.
With warm regards,
Your Brother in Spagyric Inquiry,
Paracelsus
Radio Sutra #8-- Militant Octopodianism
A Militant Octopodian has eight flexible arms, which trail behind us as we swim. Most of us have no internal or external skeleton, allowing us to squeeze through tight places, like slightly cracked windows and under most doors. Octopodians also have hard beaks, and are unafraid to use them. Our mouths lie at the center point of our eight arms. We are highly intelligent, and are arguably the most intelligent invertebrates. We do tensor calculus for fun. For defense against predators, we hide, flee quickly, expel ink, or use color-changing chromatophores in our skin to camouflage ourselves, leaving all you 'one-skinned' retards in the dust. Octopodians are bilaterally symmetrical, like other cephalopods, with two eyes and four pairs of arms. We are absolutely not radially symmetrical, like those slacker Octopodian-wanna-be sea stars.Octopodians have an unacceptably short life expectancy, with some of our most unfortunate sisters and brothers living for as little as six months. Larger species, such as the North Pacific Giant Octopus, may live for up to five years under certain circumstances. However, reproduction is a cause of death: males can only live for a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch. They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they don't die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically-programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, the female Octopodian may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves). In an effort to combat this incredibly irritating design-flaw, we have establised the Militant North Pacific Giant Octopodian Think-Tank, and are currently conducting top-secret gene-splicing research in aquaria world-wide at this very moment.
As Octopodians, we are very proud of our uniquely flexible brains, which in each Octopodian is wrapped around his or her esophagus. Our brains are deeply whorled and ridged and we each possess a very complex visual cortex. The visual cortex is of extreme importance to Octopodians, as we apparently coordinate the movements of their two legs and six arms by sight only. Octopodians also have three hearts. Two pump blood through each of the two gills, while the third pumps blood through the body. This means that once we get the life-expectancy snag worked out, it's going to be real hard to kill us.
Militant Octopodians also support all shell-less, multi-armed molluscs in finding their path to the Sea Goddess. However, we do not recognize hormonally or surgically altered fish as octopoids, and therefore exclude these fish, or fish who self-define as octopuses, cuttlefish or squid, from our tradition. Octopodian Mysteries cannot be understood nor experienced through chemical or surgical alterations to piscene bodies. As octopoids, we honor the ways that we are informed by our eight-armed physiology, cellular memory, and work power from our ink-sacs outward. Even if an octopus has had her ink-sac removed later in life, her body of wisdom has been informed by her physiological experiences of mollusc-hood and tentacle-hood. She will continue to work power from the Divine ink-sac in her center all her life.
The Militant Octopodian tradition focuses on rites to heal octopoids from the effects of personal and global oppression as we deal with growing up multi-armed and shell-less in invertibrate-hating cultures worldwide. The depth to which icthyarchy has shaped and impacted our lives as octopoids cannot truly be understood unless one has experienced it from birth. In light of these bases of our tradition, it is simply not appropriate for hormonally/surgically altered fish to attend our events. Our tradition is simply not about them, and does not address nor include their unique experiences. Exceptions to this exclusion are those nudibranchs, anemones and sea-cucumbers who have been raised Octopodian in our culture. The vast majority of other mollusc-oriented traditions do not share this fundamental requirement, and most often welcome transmolluscs as participants. Octopodian-born-octopuses who self-define as fish, crinoids or scallops would, by their own definition, exclude themselves from Militant Octopodian ritual.
The Militant Octopodian tradition is committed to an octopodist paradigm of true sexual liberation. We are working to free ourselves and our ocean from the effects of icthyarchal culture that equates sexuality, sexual expression, and eroticism with sadism, masochism, dominance and death-by-optical-glad-secretion due to gender-dedicated egg-tending. We will neither support nor condone sexual practices which are de-tentacle-izing, and whose purpose it is to cause pain, humiliation or death-by-predation during coitus (in the case of cuttlefish and squid), whether consensual or not. Consistent with an Octopodian paradigm for an egalitarian and peaceful world where power shared means empowerment for all, we support nothing less than a revolution from within and without, in the ocean in general and in the currents of the Octopodian (or Decapodian) spawning-school.
The Hawai'ian creation myth relates that the present cosmos is only the last of a series, having arisen in stages from the wreck of the previous universe. In this account, the Octopus is the lone survivor of the previous, alien universe.
We are not composed altogether of flesh and blood. We have shape...but that shape is not made of matter. When the stars are right, We can plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars are wrong, We cannot live. But although We no longer live, We never really die. We all lay in stone houses in Our great city of R'lyeh, preserved by the spells of mighty Cthulhu for a glorious resurrection when the stars and the earth will once more be ready for Us.
Poetic Interlude #3-- My Cat Writes A Shakespearean Sonnet
Not from night's stars do I bright silver pluck,
Yet comet-quick, I have astronomy.
But not to tell of troutlings' evil luck,
Of nets, of bears, or men's gastronomy,
Nor can I cricket fortune truly tell;
Pawing at each six-legged perturbation,
Or say with catnip if it shall go well;
A bliss of thousand-petaled transmutation.
But from thine eyes the constant stars derive,
And in them I read lavish birds and flowers
As truth and beauty leaping upstream strive,
Thy pearly claw the hook of Heaven's powers.
Bemused by thee, this I prognosticate:
A fish-fatale doth feed our dinner date.
Yet comet-quick, I have astronomy.
But not to tell of troutlings' evil luck,
Of nets, of bears, or men's gastronomy,
Nor can I cricket fortune truly tell;
Pawing at each six-legged perturbation,
Or say with catnip if it shall go well;
A bliss of thousand-petaled transmutation.
But from thine eyes the constant stars derive,
And in them I read lavish birds and flowers
As truth and beauty leaping upstream strive,
Thy pearly claw the hook of Heaven's powers.
Bemused by thee, this I prognosticate:
A fish-fatale doth feed our dinner date.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Radio Sutra #15-- Scared Zitless...
Everyone wants a healthy-looking, attractive complexion! Knowing how to vaporize most skin imperfections on contact will boost your self-esteem and help you rid yourself of unwanted facial features!
Skin blemishes usually come in three main types-- the average zit, the cystic zit, and the Sargasso Death-Polyp. This term refers exclusively to the form with a single large head in bright neon colors, with vivid, glowing purple concentric rings for ease of visibility in low-light situations.
The average zit is quasi-luminescent, giving off a faint blue color and high levels of synchrotron radiation. It reacts violently with water and oil to form radium hydroxide, and is slightly more volatile than liquid nitrogen.
Zits can appear in purple and yellow in addition to the traditional white variety. Historically, the color purple has been associated with royalty and power, but people just say this to be polite. No one wants to have zits, let alone purple ones. However, newly uncovered declassified top-secret government documents propose a cure-- the secret of its allure lies in uranium ores and various radioactive isotopes.
Cystic zits usually possess abundant clusters and branches which are of three kinds: disgusting, perverted and mutant. For these, medical intervention in the form of cortisone shots and a fiberglass patch-kit are sometimes required.
For daytime treatment, look to large amounts of lime plaster. The lime plaster must also be without extra water, which again would cause abnormal swelling, redness and general renal failure. A masque made of pulped broccoli may then be safely applied. It should be aged a year or two before being used.
Buckshot is used for hunting larger skin eruptions and cysts. The ability of buckshot to open and cleanse the pores is one positive aspect for the projectile, however this may be of limited value due to the remaining low residual energy for target penetration.
Excessive touching of a zit will only irritate everyone staring at you, and will also irritate zits that are arranged in a tree-like fashion on branches sprouting from a thick, edible, sturdy, meaty stalk. Try using coarse steel wool or a wire brush to remove detritus and to allow the full adhesion of the lime plaster.
The bacteria from a zit can also traverse some dense barrier materials such as structural timber or tree limbs. Thus, it's always a good idea to make liberal use of carbon-fiber resins to prevent surface bacteria from spreading. You can also apply heat to a zit to prohibit the carbonization process, and to kill the glands of tiny shellfish creatures already emerging from the surface of your skin.
Popping a zit is an art. It requires tremendous hand-eye coordination. To begin with, the drill-bit must be kept perfectly dry. Wet grains of sand prohibit the acne-fighting chemicals from carbonizing and adhering to the surface of the skin.
For a flawless complexion that will be the envy of all, remember the following tips--
Zits are produced from overexposure to the mucus of various species of marine mollusks, notably the Murex, some razor-clams, and two species of Anabaptists.
Avoid prolonged bare-skin contact with nettles, poison ivy and sumac, cholla cacti and banana slugs.
To get rid of a persistent zit, apply a small boiled cauliflower to the affected area.
Use alpha particles, beta particles, and gamma rays on the zit before you go to bed.
For a more severe zit, like a deep cyst, you may want to consider 7 tons of pitchblende to reduce the swelling.
Always use oil-free make-up or moisturizer that contains small amounts of molybdinum hydrochloride.
Overzealous cleansing will only strip your hypobranchial gland, so be careful! Do not use soaps containing menthol, freon or plutonium, as these will destroy the proper acid-alkaline balance of your skin.
Avoid cosmetics that contain dirt, lime, guano, or the hydrogenated gypsum found in upper Cretaceous limestone and sandstone deposits.
Only pop a zit if and when the pus is green in color.
To get rid of a superficial zit, use Radon gas and sandpaper.
Applying plaster and fresco-pigments in trace amounts to cheeks, nose and forehead has never been shown to be therapeutic.
Last but not least, don't forget the Portland cement and the blasting caps! Frequent, generous use of these substances is the only way to maintain control over the final outcome of your complexion blitzkrieg!
Skin blemishes usually come in three main types-- the average zit, the cystic zit, and the Sargasso Death-Polyp. This term refers exclusively to the form with a single large head in bright neon colors, with vivid, glowing purple concentric rings for ease of visibility in low-light situations.
The average zit is quasi-luminescent, giving off a faint blue color and high levels of synchrotron radiation. It reacts violently with water and oil to form radium hydroxide, and is slightly more volatile than liquid nitrogen.
Zits can appear in purple and yellow in addition to the traditional white variety. Historically, the color purple has been associated with royalty and power, but people just say this to be polite. No one wants to have zits, let alone purple ones. However, newly uncovered declassified top-secret government documents propose a cure-- the secret of its allure lies in uranium ores and various radioactive isotopes.
Cystic zits usually possess abundant clusters and branches which are of three kinds: disgusting, perverted and mutant. For these, medical intervention in the form of cortisone shots and a fiberglass patch-kit are sometimes required.
For daytime treatment, look to large amounts of lime plaster. The lime plaster must also be without extra water, which again would cause abnormal swelling, redness and general renal failure. A masque made of pulped broccoli may then be safely applied. It should be aged a year or two before being used.
Buckshot is used for hunting larger skin eruptions and cysts. The ability of buckshot to open and cleanse the pores is one positive aspect for the projectile, however this may be of limited value due to the remaining low residual energy for target penetration.
Excessive touching of a zit will only irritate everyone staring at you, and will also irritate zits that are arranged in a tree-like fashion on branches sprouting from a thick, edible, sturdy, meaty stalk. Try using coarse steel wool or a wire brush to remove detritus and to allow the full adhesion of the lime plaster.
The bacteria from a zit can also traverse some dense barrier materials such as structural timber or tree limbs. Thus, it's always a good idea to make liberal use of carbon-fiber resins to prevent surface bacteria from spreading. You can also apply heat to a zit to prohibit the carbonization process, and to kill the glands of tiny shellfish creatures already emerging from the surface of your skin.
Popping a zit is an art. It requires tremendous hand-eye coordination. To begin with, the drill-bit must be kept perfectly dry. Wet grains of sand prohibit the acne-fighting chemicals from carbonizing and adhering to the surface of the skin.
For a flawless complexion that will be the envy of all, remember the following tips--
Zits are produced from overexposure to the mucus of various species of marine mollusks, notably the Murex, some razor-clams, and two species of Anabaptists.
Avoid prolonged bare-skin contact with nettles, poison ivy and sumac, cholla cacti and banana slugs.
To get rid of a persistent zit, apply a small boiled cauliflower to the affected area.
Use alpha particles, beta particles, and gamma rays on the zit before you go to bed.
For a more severe zit, like a deep cyst, you may want to consider 7 tons of pitchblende to reduce the swelling.
Always use oil-free make-up or moisturizer that contains small amounts of molybdinum hydrochloride.
Overzealous cleansing will only strip your hypobranchial gland, so be careful! Do not use soaps containing menthol, freon or plutonium, as these will destroy the proper acid-alkaline balance of your skin.
Avoid cosmetics that contain dirt, lime, guano, or the hydrogenated gypsum found in upper Cretaceous limestone and sandstone deposits.
Only pop a zit if and when the pus is green in color.
To get rid of a superficial zit, use Radon gas and sandpaper.
Applying plaster and fresco-pigments in trace amounts to cheeks, nose and forehead has never been shown to be therapeutic.
Last but not least, don't forget the Portland cement and the blasting caps! Frequent, generous use of these substances is the only way to maintain control over the final outcome of your complexion blitzkrieg!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Poetic Interlude #2-- Enter Lilith
Who are you, shabby man,
To make fun
of My Moon-feathers and My Owl-feet?
The midwives told us that the owl is the symbol of the midwife.
the nightbird of death-omen,
the winged air-demoness
are male political projections onto the midwife,
jealous, they pluck at Her Feathers and call Her names
the owl, for example, was previously associated with the midwife goddess
the fore-seeing, the Goddess and Her Owl
are not only learning, intelligence, wisdom,
but also Prophecy.
I am an Owl in the house.
She is naked, with an Owl's feet and wings.
Standing on the backs of two Lions, She is accompanied by
two large Owls;
She holds a looped umbilical cord in each hand,
Her Power of both Life and Death,
the open birth-canal
or the strangling cord around a baby's neck...
Who are you, grubby man,
to blame Me and My Sacred Moonlight
for your pissant wet-dreams?
You fuck sheep and your own daughters.
Who are you to Me? Who?
Owls are linked with witchcraft and the pollution of menstruation...
Linked by who ? Who?
Owls were also linked with lightning and drums,
which pierce the ceremonial darkness.
Owl-bones were buried with the dead
for as Owl-eyes could fathom night,
So would the magick of the Owl-Mother
help souls find their way to Her for rebirth
out of the black tomb.
The Owl is the bird of the shaman, owl feathers are worn as
protective amulets against harmful spirits
an owl perches on the shoulder of the old woman,
calling to mind the hallowed wisdom of nature
Old Midwives know the herbs. They know how to bring blood
or stop it. They help women to conceive or to abort
We are talking about female sexual autonomy here
a woman's right to have as many sexual partners as she wants
without any of that ‘sleeping around is for misguided sluts’ shit thrown in her face.
Who are you, stingy man,
Who are you, stupid man,
to deny My Fire,
to shame your sisters for their heat?
There are brief encounters that affirm our humanity,
and long-term exclusive relationships that choke the life out of us
Who are you, fickle man,
How will you party when the old witch-woman
finds out where you tossed that condom
and drives a rusty nail through it?
Who will help you then?
Who?
Who?
The King's Midwife was a powerful woman
who knew how to deal with powerful men on an equal footing.
Owls are associated with the Eternal Waters and are said to guard
the Fountain of Life.
Lilith refused to lie on Her back for Adam,
and She basically told Yahweh to get stuffed.
Owls perch in the Tree of Life. They stand for the power to see
the invisible.
Wearing the names of angels around your neck
will not help you
when I am pissed off enough to come after you.
Who are you, little man,
Who are you in the dark, when no one is looking?
I am the wisdom of the Stars and of the Old Ways, but
who are you?
Who?
Who?
Who?
To make fun
of My Moon-feathers and My Owl-feet?
The midwives told us that the owl is the symbol of the midwife.
the nightbird of death-omen,
the winged air-demoness
are male political projections onto the midwife,
jealous, they pluck at Her Feathers and call Her names
the owl, for example, was previously associated with the midwife goddess
the fore-seeing, the Goddess and Her Owl
are not only learning, intelligence, wisdom,
but also Prophecy.
I am an Owl in the house.
She is naked, with an Owl's feet and wings.
Standing on the backs of two Lions, She is accompanied by
two large Owls;
She holds a looped umbilical cord in each hand,
Her Power of both Life and Death,
the open birth-canal
or the strangling cord around a baby's neck...
Who are you, grubby man,
to blame Me and My Sacred Moonlight
for your pissant wet-dreams?
You fuck sheep and your own daughters.
Who are you to Me? Who?
Owls are linked with witchcraft and the pollution of menstruation...
Linked by who ? Who?
Owls were also linked with lightning and drums,
which pierce the ceremonial darkness.
Owl-bones were buried with the dead
for as Owl-eyes could fathom night,
So would the magick of the Owl-Mother
help souls find their way to Her for rebirth
out of the black tomb.
The Owl is the bird of the shaman, owl feathers are worn as
protective amulets against harmful spirits
an owl perches on the shoulder of the old woman,
calling to mind the hallowed wisdom of nature
Old Midwives know the herbs. They know how to bring blood
or stop it. They help women to conceive or to abort
We are talking about female sexual autonomy here
a woman's right to have as many sexual partners as she wants
without any of that ‘sleeping around is for misguided sluts’ shit thrown in her face.
Who are you, stingy man,
Who are you, stupid man,
to deny My Fire,
to shame your sisters for their heat?
There are brief encounters that affirm our humanity,
and long-term exclusive relationships that choke the life out of us
Who are you, fickle man,
How will you party when the old witch-woman
finds out where you tossed that condom
and drives a rusty nail through it?
Who will help you then?
Who?
Who?
The King's Midwife was a powerful woman
who knew how to deal with powerful men on an equal footing.
Owls are associated with the Eternal Waters and are said to guard
the Fountain of Life.
Lilith refused to lie on Her back for Adam,
and She basically told Yahweh to get stuffed.
Owls perch in the Tree of Life. They stand for the power to see
the invisible.
Wearing the names of angels around your neck
will not help you
when I am pissed off enough to come after you.
Who are you, little man,
Who are you in the dark, when no one is looking?
I am the wisdom of the Stars and of the Old Ways, but
who are you?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Radio Sutra #3.1415-- The Space Owls Are Not What They Seem
Space Owls make up a large majority of the total material content of the Universe, but this was not always known. There are many reasons to believe that the Cosmos is full of Space Owls. These Owls influence the evolution of the Universe gravitationally, but are not seen directly in our present observations. The nature of Space Owls, and the associated "missing feather problem", is one of the most pressing, fundamental issues of modern astrophysics.What is the nature of Space Owls, these mysterious invisible avians that exert a gravitational pull, but do not emit or absorb light? Astronomers do not know. Discussions of Space Owls typically consider two extremes: hot Space Owls and cold Space Owls.
Hot Space Owls are composed of feathers that have zero or near-zero mass (downy-, contour-, and flight- neutrinos are prime examples). The Special Theory of Owlativity requires that massless Space Owls must move at the speed of light and that nearly massless Space Owls must move at nearly the speed of light. Thus, such very low-feather Space Owls must move at very high velocities and will thus form (by the kinetic-stench theory of sulfurous emissions) very hot Egg Gases.
On the other hand, cold Space Owls are composed of objects sufficiently massive so as to move at sub-relativistic velocities, such as pianos, discarded refrigerators, and old television sets. They thus form much colder gases, due to the discarded refrigerators. The difference between cold Space Owls and hot Space Owls is significant in the formation of cosmic structure, because the high velocities of hot Space Owls cause them to wipe out such cosmic small scale structure as planets, individual stars, amaryllis bulbs, house-cats, computer hard drives and brain cells.
There are a number of idle, navel-gazing speculations on the nature of Space Owls that deserve mention here:
1) Brown Space-Owl Pellets: if a star's mass is less than one twentieth of our Sun, its core is not hot enough to digest either hydrogen or small rodent bones and fur, so it is heated only by virtue of its own quasi-owlistic gravitational contraction. These dim pellets, intermediate between stars and planets, are not luminous enough to be directly detectable by our telescopes. Brown Space Owl Pellets and similar objects have been nicknamed MACSOHOs (MAssive Compact Space-Owl-Hurl Objects) by astronomers. These MACSOHOs are potentially detectable by accidentally stepping on one barefoot, or by gravitational 'owl-eye' lensing experiments. If Space Owls are made mostly of MACSOHOs, then it is likely that baryonic-- i.e., disembOwled-- matter does make up most of the mass of the universe, and Space Owls as such do not really exist.
2) Supermassive Black Space-Owl Nest-Holes: also known as 'SuperBS OwN-Holes', these are thought to power distant K, Q-T, and C-U-L8TR quasars. Some astronomers speculate that there may be copious numbers of Black Space-Owl Nest-Holes comprising the Space Owls themselves. Besides being a completely delightful example of circular reasoning (Which came first? The Space Owl or the Black Space-Owl Nest-Hole?), these Black Space-Owl Nest-Holes are also potentially detectable through their owl-eye lensing effects. In an unwarranted, quasi-mobius-strip leap of both owlistic logic and faith, this similarity of owl-eyed detectability means that both Brown Space-Owl Pellets (MACSOHOs) and Black Space-Owl Nest-Holes (SuperBS OwN-Holes) are both disembOwled matter, so once again, the Space Owls themselves are both unnecessary and imaginal.
3) New forms of Owlistic matter: Owl-particle physicists (affectionately known as 'Feather-Heads'), have speculated that there are new strigiform generative forces and new types of feathers that have yet to be discovered. These scientists work to understand the fundamental forces of nature and the composition of matter by building ever-more-sophisticated Owl-particle accelerators, also known as TSO3WC (The Sound Of One Owl-Wing Clapping) SuperColliders. One of the primary motivations for building these supercolliders is to try to produce novel particle-feathers in the laboratory. Since the Universe was a very dense and hot bowl of egg-drop soup in the early moments following the Big Hoot, the Cosmos itself was a wonderful owl-particle accelerator. Cosmologists speculate that Space Owls may be made of novel, unusually-massive feathers produced shortly after the Big Hoot. These feathers would be very different from ordinary baryonic (disembOwled) matter. Cosmologists call these hypothetical feathers WIMPOOs (for Weakly Intellectual Massive Pieces Of Owls) or "non-disembOwled matter".
Finally, there have been a few very speculative Owl-papers written which propose that Space Owls are really something totally new and mysterious that has never been seen before. This would fit, since by nature, Space Owls are held to be completely unobservable. There has also been some speculation that Space Owls communicate among themselves via some mysterious long-range force, either attracting or repelling one another in some poorly understood distant-feather-entanglement mechanism. As intriguing an idea as this might be, it would turn current cosmological dynamics into a literal pile of owl-shit. But given the very surprising and poorly understood nature of galaxy distribution in the Universe, clearly the Space Owls are not what they seem...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Radio Sutra #69-- Bolide Sex Meditation
Last week, I walked along an isolated section of the Meteor Crater rim in Arizona practicing a deep meditation method based on the ravages of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. A pink meteor controlled by aliens landed near a small town and turned the local women into Samadhi-of-Self-Mastery nymphos. My Uncle had given me a huge black feather that was possessed by an alien force bent on sexual ambiguity. The women were carefully wrapped and tied in soft buckskin, hidden away from prying eyes all these years.
As the cold wind howled down the crater wall and up the other side, Kitty, the alien, teaches Jack how to have sex her way. He told me he "was getting up there" and wanted to ensure high-quality produce. Celery is from the same plant family as carrots, parsley, fennel and sustained orgasms.
As the Full Moon passed directly overhead, the pull was taut and nearly straight up. I tied the feather to the string as close to the petioles as I could and ran it out hundreds of yards into the night sky. Celery is one of the more difficult and demanding of vegetables to grow. The more demanding conditions and attention that celery needs, sometimes causes home growers to rise to the challenge. I let the string slip from my fingers in ecstasy.
His lust was a huge bolide that crashed through the sky. I looked between her legs and thought that something about the place holds a deep fascination for me. I spent a lot of time hunting for meteorites there since my early childhood. Rocks from a meteor which grow when in contact with water threaten a sleepy Southwestern town. This is also the reason why celery is a little more difficult to grow than more common garden fruits and vegetables. Scientists investigating human pheromones have discovered that eating celery results in negative calories and forbidden passion. It's that mild taste that makes it such a great tool for dipping into your favorite slut of a girlfriend.
He was big, and as I remembered correctly, was nearly as wide as the span of my hand. Without my knowledge he had kept it well composted. It also requires lots of water. In deference to my Uncle and his legacy, and unbeknownst to anybody, including any crater authorities, I took the outside stalks to the crater and in a certain rite, burned them. Without sufficient water, they can be dry and woody. The sex-toy was of standard nickel-iron composition. The outer layer was undamaged by slugs. Bacteria can also cause rotting in the center of the stalk. The inner stalks are more tender and taste best uncooked.
A broad range of insects and pests are attracted to my Uncle's memory. I knew him as a man of exuberant, leafy growth, with stems over a foot long. On the closest Full Moon to the Summer Solstice following his death, we made cream of celery soup.
His mother says she set her bedroom on fire during sex after spending a holiday drinking with friends. The resulting crater is an immense impact-hole pounded out of the Earth by the high-speed collision.
As the cold wind howled down the crater wall and up the other side, Kitty, the alien, teaches Jack how to have sex her way. He told me he "was getting up there" and wanted to ensure high-quality produce. Celery is from the same plant family as carrots, parsley, fennel and sustained orgasms.
As the Full Moon passed directly overhead, the pull was taut and nearly straight up. I tied the feather to the string as close to the petioles as I could and ran it out hundreds of yards into the night sky. Celery is one of the more difficult and demanding of vegetables to grow. The more demanding conditions and attention that celery needs, sometimes causes home growers to rise to the challenge. I let the string slip from my fingers in ecstasy.
His lust was a huge bolide that crashed through the sky. I looked between her legs and thought that something about the place holds a deep fascination for me. I spent a lot of time hunting for meteorites there since my early childhood. Rocks from a meteor which grow when in contact with water threaten a sleepy Southwestern town. This is also the reason why celery is a little more difficult to grow than more common garden fruits and vegetables. Scientists investigating human pheromones have discovered that eating celery results in negative calories and forbidden passion. It's that mild taste that makes it such a great tool for dipping into your favorite slut of a girlfriend.
He was big, and as I remembered correctly, was nearly as wide as the span of my hand. Without my knowledge he had kept it well composted. It also requires lots of water. In deference to my Uncle and his legacy, and unbeknownst to anybody, including any crater authorities, I took the outside stalks to the crater and in a certain rite, burned them. Without sufficient water, they can be dry and woody. The sex-toy was of standard nickel-iron composition. The outer layer was undamaged by slugs. Bacteria can also cause rotting in the center of the stalk. The inner stalks are more tender and taste best uncooked.
A broad range of insects and pests are attracted to my Uncle's memory. I knew him as a man of exuberant, leafy growth, with stems over a foot long. On the closest Full Moon to the Summer Solstice following his death, we made cream of celery soup.
His mother says she set her bedroom on fire during sex after spending a holiday drinking with friends. The resulting crater is an immense impact-hole pounded out of the Earth by the high-speed collision.
Poetic Interlude #1 (Refurbishing Bad Internet Poetry) The Meteor Woman
Bubbling pits and a rod of gold,
nearby the crater's lovely ring.
Beams slash into my sun disk...
Till he came,
I had found no Star Prince
who tore that Star Sea
with broken glass hitched so low...
Crows crash their night-slit sickle wings at the Meteor Woman.
Swift darts leaping, whirling,
a crater-lake of gold in the bubbling mountains
where I ran and tried to steal my head,
but two thousand dollars blew by
edged in fatally amused wandering...
I quit in painful vacancy
and sat in a basement cell
among deserted stones.
Foxes creep belly-back over thorns to the Meteor Woman.
A Baboon in a silk suit,
he bruised his daughter
and kept her in a Tower.
Wrestling with fur capes, grapes and apples,
they bowed and asked him to preside
over winter rain,
humming songs for his troops.
He saved his job, bought a computer,
clubbed till his old friends died
and time ate his ears...
Angels scatter pain-crushed ashes for the Meteor Woman.
She was the Monkey
in a square-necked gown
that wiggled with her waist
like a second soul...
So I hiked back to Mexico
watching flapping Gulls collect
their white wishes
but within the House
the herbs of memory burn down to dregs
in blighted bowls of obsidian smoke...
The Tigress paints her slant-striped skin for the Meteor Woman.
The axe against suburban windows
crashes in sparkling bones,
and broken wolves face death
in the white halls of weary snow...
I heard his shout die
in the City of Towers
while the hands of mermaids fluttered
flashing a vision born deep in her sun-lit stream,
hiding her heart from the darkness of demons
taking wing forever...
Stars glimmer-give their ancient tears to the Meteor Woman.
I glide, tuning my radio over steep hills,
long echoes whipping the stars
in silent rage.
in a flash of feathers that blinds,
I weave my golden mask
with eyes of shooting flames.
Nacreous hope blisters,
jewels remembering their lost light.
spending stories like water the road lifts,
a roaring mouth eating my embers...
I give my eternal scarlet-engine scream to the Meteor Woman.
nearby the crater's lovely ring.
Beams slash into my sun disk...
Till he came,
I had found no Star Prince
who tore that Star Sea
with broken glass hitched so low...
Crows crash their night-slit sickle wings at the Meteor Woman.
Swift darts leaping, whirling,
a crater-lake of gold in the bubbling mountains
where I ran and tried to steal my head,
but two thousand dollars blew by
edged in fatally amused wandering...
I quit in painful vacancy
and sat in a basement cell
among deserted stones.
Foxes creep belly-back over thorns to the Meteor Woman.
A Baboon in a silk suit,
he bruised his daughter
and kept her in a Tower.
Wrestling with fur capes, grapes and apples,
they bowed and asked him to preside
over winter rain,
humming songs for his troops.
He saved his job, bought a computer,
clubbed till his old friends died
and time ate his ears...
Angels scatter pain-crushed ashes for the Meteor Woman.
She was the Monkey
in a square-necked gown
that wiggled with her waist
like a second soul...
So I hiked back to Mexico
watching flapping Gulls collect
their white wishes
but within the House
the herbs of memory burn down to dregs
in blighted bowls of obsidian smoke...
The Tigress paints her slant-striped skin for the Meteor Woman.
The axe against suburban windows
crashes in sparkling bones,
and broken wolves face death
in the white halls of weary snow...
I heard his shout die
in the City of Towers
while the hands of mermaids fluttered
flashing a vision born deep in her sun-lit stream,
hiding her heart from the darkness of demons
taking wing forever...
Stars glimmer-give their ancient tears to the Meteor Woman.
I glide, tuning my radio over steep hills,
long echoes whipping the stars
in silent rage.
in a flash of feathers that blinds,
I weave my golden mask
with eyes of shooting flames.
Nacreous hope blisters,
jewels remembering their lost light.
spending stories like water the road lifts,
a roaring mouth eating my embers...
I give my eternal scarlet-engine scream to the Meteor Woman.
Radio Sutra #23-- Drunken White Snow Rider Luminous Horse Magnets
A man has been cited for public intoxication while riding a white horse during a snowstorm in the Northern Wyoming town of Cody. The white horse was cut out of the turf on the upper slopes of Uffington Castle near the Ridgeway. It is 374 feet long and provides bus service to anybody interested in the Old West.
A silvery-white, lustrous, malleable, ductile, metallic object, the white horse itself suggests some creature out of the endless nightmare that is motorcycle endurance riding. Many white horses have internal, paired magnetic coils. They store water beneath a thick, fleshy outer "skin". The white horse is an icon for dignity which has had a huge impact on the growth of new neurons - possibly leading to treatments for brain diseases.
Mounted on a white horse, a new bride flees for her life from weapons and tools. The mysterious little white horse of Maria's imaginings is as ethereal as Hot Bargains at Blowout Prices! Yet while it shares the appearance of belonging to an imaginary world along with the demon-conjuring properties of pewter angel magnets, the white horse is a road hazard.
Many white horses are sculpted from lard, and embellished with silver and semiprecious stones. True white horses are born white. Cremello and perlino coat colors are produced by a dilution gene made of twisting cones topped with graceful pink blossoms. In addition to many exquisite flowers, they also have incredibly strong neodymium magnets imbedded in them. Their prickly nature notwithstanding, these moonscape horses are quite spacious, with fantastic ocean views.
In the twilight of his life, he rode across lands that used to guard secret treasures. He realized that meteoric iron is a wonderful substance. White horses rise from iron which has been smelted from fallen empires. He dealt with the pain of being a rejected suitor by riding his horse on a street in conditions with poor visibility. Stainless steel snow was falling. Drivers were having difficulty spotting his slow-moving white horse. It was the most awesome thing! As the ground glittered with a million little stars, he saw her, white upon white, in the snowy moonlight...
White horses may have blue, brown or hazel eyes. They are born of sea-foam and stay white throughout their lives. Hell, some people don't believe in horses! They follow a different path. It is guaranteed to attract anything you want in 30 days! The Path Without Heart is family owned and operated since 1965 and serves the greater Los Angeles Area.
When these answers become stagnant, neon lights add an epic light-bright surrealism to the festival. Fertilizing plankton requires little effort and can be very rewarding. They also always have a white coat with no other color present. The recessive gene that is responsible for this is made of ordinary sawdust combined with non-toxic white glue.
The True White Horse is a field of subtle, luminous radiation, comprised largely of imaginary, non-linear albino pseudophotons. Some people see white horses as the result of a migraine, epilepsy, a visual system disorder, or a brain disorder. Accordingly, rationalist debunkers of equine activity deny claims of the existence of white horses, their precise scientific label for said etheric emanations being 'your basic temporal-lobe head-case of galloping hallucinatory whackitude'.
When confronted with the subtle, chill mystery of the sudden appearance of multitudes of horse-head patterned snowflakes, it is well to ponder the following three things:
Intuition is the silent partner of both the equine veterinarian and the blacksmith.
Meteoric iron is an integral part of every blood drive.
Heroic fable is the ultimate resource for natural pain relief.
A silvery-white, lustrous, malleable, ductile, metallic object, the white horse itself suggests some creature out of the endless nightmare that is motorcycle endurance riding. Many white horses have internal, paired magnetic coils. They store water beneath a thick, fleshy outer "skin". The white horse is an icon for dignity which has had a huge impact on the growth of new neurons - possibly leading to treatments for brain diseases.
Mounted on a white horse, a new bride flees for her life from weapons and tools. The mysterious little white horse of Maria's imaginings is as ethereal as Hot Bargains at Blowout Prices! Yet while it shares the appearance of belonging to an imaginary world along with the demon-conjuring properties of pewter angel magnets, the white horse is a road hazard.
Many white horses are sculpted from lard, and embellished with silver and semiprecious stones. True white horses are born white. Cremello and perlino coat colors are produced by a dilution gene made of twisting cones topped with graceful pink blossoms. In addition to many exquisite flowers, they also have incredibly strong neodymium magnets imbedded in them. Their prickly nature notwithstanding, these moonscape horses are quite spacious, with fantastic ocean views.
In the twilight of his life, he rode across lands that used to guard secret treasures. He realized that meteoric iron is a wonderful substance. White horses rise from iron which has been smelted from fallen empires. He dealt with the pain of being a rejected suitor by riding his horse on a street in conditions with poor visibility. Stainless steel snow was falling. Drivers were having difficulty spotting his slow-moving white horse. It was the most awesome thing! As the ground glittered with a million little stars, he saw her, white upon white, in the snowy moonlight...
White horses may have blue, brown or hazel eyes. They are born of sea-foam and stay white throughout their lives. Hell, some people don't believe in horses! They follow a different path. It is guaranteed to attract anything you want in 30 days! The Path Without Heart is family owned and operated since 1965 and serves the greater Los Angeles Area.
When these answers become stagnant, neon lights add an epic light-bright surrealism to the festival. Fertilizing plankton requires little effort and can be very rewarding. They also always have a white coat with no other color present. The recessive gene that is responsible for this is made of ordinary sawdust combined with non-toxic white glue.
The True White Horse is a field of subtle, luminous radiation, comprised largely of imaginary, non-linear albino pseudophotons. Some people see white horses as the result of a migraine, epilepsy, a visual system disorder, or a brain disorder. Accordingly, rationalist debunkers of equine activity deny claims of the existence of white horses, their precise scientific label for said etheric emanations being 'your basic temporal-lobe head-case of galloping hallucinatory whackitude'.
When confronted with the subtle, chill mystery of the sudden appearance of multitudes of horse-head patterned snowflakes, it is well to ponder the following three things:
Intuition is the silent partner of both the equine veterinarian and the blacksmith.
Meteoric iron is an integral part of every blood drive.
Heroic fable is the ultimate resource for natural pain relief.
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