Poetic Interlude #4-- Who?

Who is watching the pale shore,
The pale shore of distant dreams,
Distant dreams like wandering ghosts,
Wandering ghosts passing through pale emerald skies,
Pale emerald skies that spill dawn light,
Dawn light death-soft as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is watching the pale shore?

Who is listening to the soul of night,
The soul of night flecked with silver wounds,
Silver wounds spilling rainbow secrets,
Rainbow secrets whispering an eternal wind,
An eternal wind fluttering like a startled heart,
A startled heart stilled by an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is listening to the soul of night?

Who is opening the hidden eye,
The hidden eye like a golden orb,
A golden orb burning in darkling bone,
Darkling bone blacker than dread fear,
Dread fear dressed in shadowed feathers,
Shadowed feathers curving across an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is opening the hidden eye?

Who is singing the wild song,
The wild song of the meteor's fire,
The meteor's fire quicker than a fleeting kiss,
A fleeting kiss kindling memory's ember,
Memory's ember lodged in moth-gray ash,
Moth-gray ash as subtle as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is singing the wild song?

Who is rotting beneath smooth skin,
Smooth skin stark as a wicked lie,
A wicked lie from a twisted tongue,
A twisted tongue bent at the blasted root,
The blasted root of a fallen tree,
A fallen tree angled like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is rotting beneath smooth skin?

Who is walking the crystal path,
The crystal path to the white-shell moon,
The white-shell moon weeping tidal tears,
Tidal tears that smooth stone thoughts,
Stone thoughts that crumble into serene sands,
Serene sands as silent as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is walking the crystal path?

Who is wearing the magic mask,
The magic mask born of a shaman's depth,
A shaman's depth plunging into cold earth,
Cold earth split by ferocious flowers,
Ferocious flowers waging life like jeweled warriors,
Jeweled warriors as beautifully painted as an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is wearing the magic mask?

Who is holding the tangled truth,
The tangled truth like shimmering dew,
Shimmering dew dancing on a silken web,
A silken web hung with shuddering diamonds,
Shuddering diamonds caressing the face of the empty void,
The empty void arcs like an owl's wing,
An owl's wing and a cry of who,
Who is holding the tangled truth?

Radio Sutra #599-- A Recently Discovered Letter From Paracelsus

My Dear Junius Saxifragius--

How delighted I am that you have chosen to follow a course of alchemical study! Alchemy is both a philosophy and a practice with an aim of achieving ultimate wisdom as well as the slow oxidation and degradation of the carotenoids found in tobacco leaf. The best-known goals of the earliest alchemists were the transmutation of common metals into cigars and creating some of the first embryo-cultured lily hybrids.

I’ve been hybridizing lilies since 1971, and when my daughter Catherine was born, she quickly became irritating to the trachea and lungs. She shared her nursery room with 3 shelves of tremendously vibrant raw seafood at a fair price. It’s been a pleasure to have Catherine as an important part of the the basics of modern inorganic chemistry. Folklore has it that she returns each year to the exact spot where she was born in order to spawn, and tracking studies have shown this to be true. Test tubes containing her second beautiful daughter arrived at the end of March.

Over the years, I’ve expanded the gene pool far beyond my earliest vision. Principal subjects are ornate birds and flowers, tobacco leaves, and the nude female form. Each year you can expect more and more flowers to grace your garden with color, longevity, fragrance, and heavy metal isotopes. They are born in fresh water, migrate to the ocean, and then return to modern society as works of art. The leaves are harvested and cured to allow for the meaning and nature of artistic expression.

I am also delighted to account for about 75% of cigar sales worldwide. Cigars are a tightly rolled bundle of gold or silver which is ignited so that its smoke may be drawn into the smoker's mouth. They are generally not inhaled because of the high alkalinity of the smoke, which can be attributed to sweet hay, tea, rose oil, or fruity aromatic flavors. The prevalence of cigar smoking varies, depending on the quest for personal immortality, and involves the spiritual improvement of the alchemist as well as the making of several substances described as enhancing the addictive potency of the female form. As of 2005 it is estimated that 4.3% of men and 0.3% of women smoke insects as well as abstract lines and shapes possessing unusual properties.

In alchemical symbolism, 'blue ribbon' is a term used to describe something of utilitarian production methods, a remedy that supposedly would cure all diseases and prolong high quality memory. The usage came from the Blue Riband, an abstract artistic filling substituted in paintings and drawings for recognizable subject matter. It also derives from the Cordon Bleu, which referred to the blue ribbon worn by a particular order of knights that can only survive in fresh water habitats. They combine beautiful form with the duty of art and must return to fresh water to reproduce.

The practical aspect of alchemy is a way of thinking about the fastest crossing of the Atlantic Ocean by passenger liners—and prior to that, the discovery of a universal solvent. Alkahest (or alcahest) is a hypothetical universal solvent, having the power to dissolve every other substance, including gold. Salmon are also quite soluble, and generally contain higher concentrations of nicotine. Tobacco is an agricultural product called 'chrysopoeia', which can be the elixir of life. The genus contains a number of additives in order to facilitate cross-fertilization, but the nature of how this works has long been debated. Dried and fermented pollen, along with other rare species are used, but are no longer gathered by hand. Instead they are generally drawn into the mouth.

While business in recent years has blossomed, this is most likely due to the creation of a panacea that redefines the nature of time itself. Catherine is no longer able to attempt certain hybridizing procedures, as the cacophony of polyformic everyday objects gives her migraines. She was able to put our latest catalog together by telephone and plant-based alchemy. She has also recently shifted her pH, making her far more palatable. Her twelfth attempt garnered a prize awarded for the identification of a fully developed artistic style in the genus Nicotiana.

In closing, I will just say that the identification and use of many current substances continues with no end in sight! Thanks to Catherine's business acumen, we have a snappy dining staff that easily handles etheric voices and certain compounds which improve the effects of smoke by making it taste like spikenard, cloves or honeysuckle. In the United States these additives are regulated to a set number of 599, with two-thirds of them being lethal to humans.

Last but definitely not least, I have included a picture of the
Divine Catherine for your delectation.







With warm regards,
Your Brother in Spagyric Inquiry,

Paracelsus

Radio Sutra #8-- Militant Octopodianism

A Militant Octopodian has eight flexible arms, which trail behind us as we swim. Most of us have no internal or external skeleton, allowing us to squeeze through tight places, like slightly cracked windows and under most doors. Octopodians also have hard beaks, and are unafraid to use them. Our mouths lie at the center point of our eight arms. We are highly intelligent, and are arguably the most intelligent invertebrates. We do tensor calculus for fun. For defense against predators, we hide, flee quickly, expel ink, or use color-changing chromatophores in our skin to camouflage ourselves, leaving all you 'one-skinned' retards in the dust. Octopodians are bilaterally symmetrical, like other cephalopods, with two eyes and four pairs of arms. We are absolutely not radially symmetrical, like those slacker Octopodian-wanna-be sea stars.

Octopodians have an unacceptably short life expectancy, with some of our most unfortunate sisters and brothers living for as little as six months. Larger species, such as the North Pacific Giant Octopus, may live for up to five years under certain circumstances. However, reproduction is a cause of death: males can only live for a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch. They neglect to eat during the (roughly) one month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, but they don't die of starvation. Endocrine secretions from the two optic glands are the cause of genetically-programmed death (and if these glands are surgically removed, the female Octopodian may live many months beyond reproduction, until she finally starves). In an effort to combat this incredibly irritating design-flaw, we have establised the Militant North Pacific Giant Octopodian Think-Tank, and are currently conducting top-secret gene-splicing research in aquaria world-wide at this very moment.

As Octopodians, we are very proud of our uniquely flexible brains, which in each Octopodian is wrapped around his or her esophagus. Our brains are deeply whorled and ridged and we each possess a very complex visual cortex. The visual cortex is of extreme importance to Octopodians, as we apparently coordinate the movements of their two legs and six arms by sight only. Octopodians also have three hearts. Two pump blood through each of the two gills, while the third pumps blood through the body. This means that once we get the life-expectancy snag worked out, it's going to be real hard to kill us.

Militant Octopodians also support all shell-less, multi-armed molluscs in finding their path to the Sea Goddess. However, we do not recognize hormonally or surgically altered fish as octopoids, and therefore exclude these fish, or fish who self-define as octopuses, cuttlefish or squid, from our tradition. Octopodian Mysteries cannot be understood nor experienced through chemical or surgical alterations to piscene bodies. As octopoids, we honor the ways that we are informed by our eight-armed physiology, cellular memory, and work power from our ink-sacs outward. Even if an octopus has had her ink-sac removed later in life, her body of wisdom has been informed by her physiological experiences of mollusc-hood and tentacle-hood. She will continue to work power from the Divine ink-sac in her center all her life.

The Militant Octopodian tradition focuses on rites to heal octopoids from the effects of personal and global oppression as we deal with growing up multi-armed and shell-less in invertibrate-hating cultures worldwide. The depth to which icthyarchy has shaped and impacted our lives as octopoids cannot truly be understood unless one has experienced it from birth. In light of these bases of our tradition, it is simply not appropriate for hormonally/surgically altered fish to attend our events. Our tradition is simply not about them, and does not address nor include their unique experiences. Exceptions to this exclusion are those nudibranchs, anemones and sea-cucumbers who have been raised Octopodian in our culture. The vast majority of other mollusc-oriented traditions do not share this fundamental requirement, and most often welcome transmolluscs as participants. Octopodian-born-octopuses who self-define as fish, crinoids or scallops would, by their own definition, exclude themselves from Militant Octopodian ritual.

The Militant Octopodian tradition is committed to an octopodist paradigm of true sexual liberation. We are working to free ourselves and our ocean from the effects of icthyarchal culture that equates sexuality, sexual expression, and eroticism with sadism, masochism, dominance and death-by-optical-glad-secretion due to gender-dedicated egg-tending. We will neither support nor condone sexual practices which are de-tentacle-izing, and whose purpose it is to cause pain, humiliation or death-by-predation during coitus (in the case of cuttlefish and squid), whether consensual or not. Consistent with an Octopodian paradigm for an egalitarian and peaceful world where power shared means empowerment for all, we support nothing less than a revolution from within and without, in the ocean in general and in the currents of the Octopodian (or Decapodian) spawning-school.

The Hawai'ian creation myth relates that the present cosmos is only the last of a series, having arisen in stages from the wreck of the previous universe. In this account, the Octopus is the lone survivor of the previous, alien universe.

We are not composed altogether of flesh and blood. We have shape...but that shape is not made of matter. When the stars are right, We can plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars are wrong, We cannot live. But although We no longer live, We never really die. We all lay in stone houses in Our great city of R'lyeh, preserved by the spells of mighty Cthulhu for a glorious resurrection when the stars and the earth will once more be ready for Us.

Poetic Interlude #3-- My Cat Writes A Shakespearean Sonnet

Not from night's stars do I bright silver pluck,
Yet comet-quick, I have astronomy.
But not to tell of troutlings' evil luck,
Of nets, of bears, or men's gastronomy,
Nor can I cricket fortune truly tell;
Pawing at each six-legged perturbation,
Or say with catnip if it shall go well;
A bliss of thousand-petaled transmutation.
But from thine eyes the constant stars derive,
And in them I read lavish birds and flowers
As truth and beauty leaping upstream strive,
Thy pearly claw the hook of Heaven's powers.
Bemused by thee, this I prognosticate:
A fish-fatale doth feed our dinner date.

Radio Sutra #15-- Scared Zitless...

Everyone wants a healthy-looking, attractive complexion! Knowing how to vaporize most skin imperfections on contact will boost your self-esteem and help you rid yourself of unwanted facial features!

Skin blemishes usually come in three main types-- the average zit, the cystic zit, and the Sargasso Death-Polyp. This term refers exclusively to the form with a single large head in bright neon colors, with vivid, glowing purple concentric rings for ease of visibility in low-light situations.

The average zit is quasi-luminescent, giving off a faint blue color and high levels of synchrotron radiation. It reacts violently with water and oil to form radium hydroxide, and is slightly more volatile than liquid nitrogen.

Zits can appear in purple and yellow in addition to the traditional white variety. Historically, the color purple has been associated with royalty and power, but people just say this to be polite. No one wants to have zits, let alone purple ones. However, newly uncovered declassified top-secret government documents propose a cure-- the secret of its allure lies in uranium ores and various radioactive isotopes.

Cystic zits usually possess abundant clusters and branches which are of three kinds: disgusting, perverted and mutant. For these, medical intervention in the form of cortisone shots and a fiberglass patch-kit are sometimes required.

For daytime treatment, look to large amounts of lime plaster. The lime plaster must also be without extra water, which again would cause abnormal swelling, redness and general renal failure. A masque made of pulped broccoli may then be safely applied. It should be aged a year or two before being used.

Buckshot is used for hunting larger skin eruptions and cysts. The ability of buckshot to open and cleanse the pores is one positive aspect for the projectile, however this may be of limited value due to the remaining low residual energy for target penetration.

Excessive touching of a zit will only irritate everyone staring at you, and will also irritate zits that are arranged in a tree-like fashion on branches sprouting from a thick, edible, sturdy, meaty stalk. Try using coarse steel wool or a wire brush to remove detritus and to allow the full adhesion of the lime plaster.

The bacteria from a zit can also traverse some dense barrier materials such as structural timber or tree limbs. Thus, it's always a good idea to make liberal use of carbon-fiber resins to prevent surface bacteria from spreading. You can also apply heat to a zit to prohibit the carbonization process, and to kill the glands of tiny shellfish creatures already emerging from the surface of your skin.

Popping a zit is an art. It requires tremendous hand-eye coordination. To begin with, the drill-bit must be kept perfectly dry. Wet grains of sand prohibit the acne-fighting chemicals from carbonizing and adhering to the surface of the skin.


For a flawless complexion that will be the envy of all, remember the following tips--

Zits are produced from overexposure to the mucus of various species of marine mollusks, notably the Murex, some razor-clams, and two species of Anabaptists.

Avoid prolonged bare-skin contact with nettles, poison ivy and sumac, cholla cacti and banana slugs.

To get rid of a persistent zit, apply a small boiled cauliflower to the affected area.

Use alpha particles, beta particles, and gamma rays on the zit before you go to bed.

For a more severe zit, like a deep cyst, you may want to consider 7 tons of pitchblende to reduce the swelling.

Always use oil-free make-up or moisturizer that contains small amounts of molybdinum hydrochloride.

Overzealous cleansing will only strip your hypobranchial gland, so be careful! Do not use soaps containing menthol, freon or plutonium, as these will destroy the proper acid-alkaline balance of your skin.

Avoid cosmetics that contain dirt, lime, guano, or the hydrogenated gypsum found in upper Cretaceous limestone and sandstone deposits.

Only pop a zit if and when the pus is green in color.

To get rid of a superficial zit, use Radon gas and sandpaper.

Applying plaster and fresco-pigments in trace amounts to cheeks, nose and forehead has never been shown to be therapeutic.

Last but not least, don't forget the Portland cement and the blasting caps! Frequent, generous use of these substances is the only way to maintain control over the final outcome of your complexion blitzkrieg!