Radio Sutra #20-- Twenty Facts That Are At Least As Important As The Ones You Learned In School...

1. Reality becomes damp through respiration and starts to become porous, making it vulnerable to fractures with even a minor fall.

2. Comets are invisible to ducks.

3. Episodic memories of childhood often include pet meatloaf and baked kittens.

4. Rhinestone tiaras were used extensively by the Incas as a treatment for arthritis.

5. Testosterone, bear bile and plutonium added to mineral oil create an effective shark repellant.

6. The Bermuda Triangle is not equilateral.

7. On average, bridal veils are 70 to 100 feet long and contain no cartilage.

8. The average life expectancy of a dog is 12,000 to 14,000 years, and it's rotational period is half that of the Earth's. Most dogs with Earth-crossing orbits are highly eccentric.

9. Women have a keener sense of signal attenuation than men.

10. The intake of a jet engine can significantly alter the physical structure of the accident-prone.

11. Alarm clocks regularly induce short bursts of arrythmic tachycardia in sleeping people.

12. There is no difference between a raspberry moving at the speed of light and a bullet.

13. Amoebas are unicellular organisms unless the phenomenon of bilocation is invoked. Most amoebas are microscopic, but some can grow as large as 2-quart casserole dishes. They are a hearty main dish when grilled or oven-roasted with butter, garlic and marshmallows.

14. Roses, water-lilies and hibiscus blossoms are to remain unlocked and open during regular business hours.

15. Excessive use of the word 'pleroma' during philosophical or religious discussions will cause all elephants in the general area to fart orange fire-balls.

16. Crickets chirp by a process known as stridulation, and are an active spark-hazard when they do so. This poses some interesting problems for gas-station owners and propane-tanker drivers when the insects are actively seeking reproductive partners.

17. Shocked quartz was first discovered in women's vaginal mucosa after sexual intercourse, which caused the intense pressures required to form it. Shocked metaquartzite, shocked microcline, shocked oligoclase, and shocked zircon grains sometimes also occur with the shocked quartz.

18. Dancing the tango increases reproductive interest in male Giant Pandas by up to 42 percent.

19. Daisies butcher cattle in their dreams.

20. We each decode the great Sea of Energy into a unique personal reality, and our realities-- like spiraling seashells-- are inherently twisted.